If you give a Mom a muffin...

If you give a mom a muffin...

She'll want a strong cup of coffee to go with it; She'll make herself some.

Her three-year-old will spill the coffee; She'll wipe it up.

While wiping the floor she'll find dirty socks.

She'll remember she has to do laundry.

When she puts the laundry in the washer, she'll trip over boots and bump into the box of Goodwill items.

Bumping into the Goodwill items will remind her that she has to get these boxes out of her basement and into the car.

When she puts the boxes in the car, she'll find a bag of groceries and this will remind her she has to cook dinner.

She will get out the chicken defrosting in the fridge.

She'll look for her cookbook, "101 Things To Do With Chicken".

The cookbook will be sitting under a pile of mail.

She will see the Netflix movie she's meant to send back and the phone bill, which is due tomorrow.

The checkbook will be in her purse that is being dumped out by her one-year-old.

As she bends down to rescue her purse, she'll smell something funny.

She'll change the baby's diaper.

While she is throwing away the diaper and searching for the hand sanitizer, the phone will ring.

Her three-year-old will answer and hang up.

She'll remember she wants to call a friend - not for coffee, but for a very strong drink.

Thinking of drinking will remind her that she was going to have a cup of coffee in order to stay awake for the rest of the day.

And chances are....

If she finds her cup of coffee (which she has to reheated by now), her children will have eaten the muffin that goes with it.

Things that change when you have a baby...

~Author Anonymous

You finally stop to smell the roses, because your baby is in your arms.

Where you once believed you were fearless, you now find yourself afraid.

The sacrifices you thought you made to have a child no longer seem like sacrifices.

You respect your body ... finally.

You respect your parents and love them in a new way.

You find that your baby's pain feels much worse than your own.

Your heart breaks much more easily.

You think of someone else 234,836,178,976 times a day.

Every day is a surprise.

Bodily functions are no longer repulsive. In fact, they please you. (Hooray for poop!)

You look at your baby in the mirror instead of yourself.

You become a morning person.

You don't mind going to bed at 9 p.m. on Friday night

You realize that the 15 pounds you can't seem to get rid of are totally worth having.

You learn that taking a shower is a luxury.